Thursday, March 20, 2008
<{Why Don't We Just Fall In Love?;
Mood: shallow
Listening to: Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
Have you ever felt like wanting to just fall in love, and yet things seem to never fall into place? And that the thought of it just keeps you paranoid?
I've been going through this for the longest time possible (a year and a half, maybe?). I don't know! It's just that a lot of things have happened ever since I entered college, and that falling in love (or being in love) is the last thing I'm good at (or lucky to encounter) right now. God, I don't even know how to rationalize these things!
Well, I'll just state my point in two actual experiences:
Well, I'll just state my point in two actual experiences:
CASE A - It is pathetically hard to get over something that never seemingly started; nor has it ever had any closure. You feel that you're connected with that significant other for quite some time; you have great vibes, you laugh at the things that only both of you can understand, you stay up late just for aimless conversations, and he walks you home (or in this case, to where you'll be meeting your mom). Then all of a sudden, he makes his move with another girl - while you stare them in the eye.
Hurtful, right? But then again, the part where your relationship never seemily started is emphasized here. Although this is probably the strangest situation to be in, I kind of missed it - for the companionship, maybe.
Moving on...
CASE B - I've had one of the best group of friends back in Freshman year (of college). They've kept me sane, just long enough to make me feel that I am a normal person. I've shared a lot of laughs with them, shared a meal or two, etc. I felt comfortable when I am with them - because I can be myself - especially with this guy.
I'm not sure if he can recall this, but I used to call him my "lunch buddy" because everytime we'd go out to eat, we'd always sit next to each other. There was a point in time when I came to like him, simply because of who he was.
A lot of things have happened since, still we remained good friends. Then during my 18th birthday celebration, he wrote a card that says "Crush q". Suddenly, I remembered how I asked him during Freshman year who his crush was, and he said "... ikaw (you)". After a few minutes, he denied it saying he was just fooling around. I realized that he has liked me ever since! (If he only knew how happy I was...). But I wasn't quite sure of how he meant by that, really. Was it probably a beginning of something? Or an end? Ever since that day, I was afraid of the unknown.
If he can read this (and I'm pretty sure he'll be able to read this): I like you too. There, I said it. So, where do we go from here?
Y i'M STiLL LOViNG iT! Y 2:13 AM
